The Story of a Love Poem
Bella and Lito Figueroa
And to her I pledge this heart of mine,
The grandeur of a love sublime,
And the solemness of a vow that’s divine,
To cherish and adore her, till endless time.
- Lito
On Thursday, January 16th, I arrived in Los Angeles, a city that has been making headlines since the start of the new year due to the devastating wildfires. When I told my friends and office mates in San Francisco about my trip, their voices were tinged with sadness as they asked, "Why? Did your loved ones lose their homes? Did you lose yours?" I had to explain that, fortunately, that was not the case. Instead, I was heading to LA to attend the funeral of my brother-in-law.My younger brother picked me up at the airport, and we went directly to the Risher Mortuary in Montebello, which is 25 miles from the wildfire-affected areas. It was the first day of viewing. My brother-in-law, Kuya Lito, Ate Bella’s husband, passed away on December 24th. Since then, the family and close friends had to spend the holiday season and Advent with nightly novena and praying the rosary, the sorrowful mystery for Kuya Lito.
What lingered in the minds of those who came to the mortuary and the funeral mass at St. Benedict’s Church in Montebello, were the usual questions: How did he die? How did he live his life?
Their eldest daughter, Julilee, addressed her father’s sudden passing during her eulogy.
“My dad’s passing was unexpected as it was heartbreaking. After returning to his home in Montebello on Monday, December 16, following a 45-day trip to the Philippines, a journey they took twice a year, he began to feel tired. As the week progressed, his fatigue worsened, and he developed a fever. On Saturday morning, we took him to the ER, where he underwent numerous tests. However, by the late hours leading into December 24th, his condition suddenly worsened.”
Kuya Lito passed away the day before Christmas at 80 years old. While the exact cause is unknown, we suspect dengue fever, a mosquito-borne virus, contracted in the Philippines.
I was one of the first close relatives and friends of Kuya Lito to deliver a eulogy. I shared a memory about a love poem that he wrote for Ate Bella and how this poem, along with their love story, influenced my high school years.
Ate Bella and Kuya Lito were Section One classmates at Pampanga High School, which was later renamed Jose Abad Santos High School, the institution I also attended. They reconnected in college in Manila as working students and fell in love. However, Ate Bella, as the second eldest of eight children, felt obligated to support her younger siblings' education, a responsibility known as dagisot in Kapampangan. Similarly, my eldest sister, Ate Nats, remained unmarried and avoided suitors due to this family duty.
Bella and Lito figueroa during their younger years
Although Ate Bella and Kuya Lito were in love, they could not marry and start their own family until the financial needs of their younger siblings' education were met. Ate Bella faced a dilemma: how could she support her younger siblings' education while also building her own family and having children? She did not want to follow the path taken by Ate Nats, who became a spinster.
Ate Bella decided to follow both her mind and heart. Embracing the journey of Filipino immigrants in America, she came to the United States in 1972. Kuya Lito subsequently joined her, and they married, establishing a family with two children. Ate Belle then petitioned for our parents, who in turn petitioned for five unmarried children, including me, although I was initially hesitant to immigrate.
The Figueroas’ wedding day
Kuya Lito, Ate Bella, and I belong to the Baby Boomer generation. Unlike millennials and Gen Zs who often express feelings through emojis and texting, we grew up in the ‘50s, ‘60s, and ‘70s when love songs were prevalent, and ballpoint pens were used for slum books and love notes. Writing followed rhyme and rhythm, such as “What do you think, I wrote in ink, because of you I always think” or “Remember M, Remember E, put them together, Remember ME.” English served not only as a medium of instruction in the school but was also as an introduction to literature and poetry, including works by William Wordsworth, John Keats, Lord Byron, and Elizabeth Barrett Browning. We were inspired by Browning’s “How do I love thee: Let me count the ways.”
When I highlighted Kuya Lito's romantic nature in my eulogy, I mentioned the poem he wrote for Ate Bella. I attempted to recite its lines from memory. His poem is an acrostic, where the first letter of each line spells out a word or a name vertically. Kuya Lito utilized the initial letters of the first lines in each stanza. For Bella, he used "B," with the line, "Beautiful as a Rose she seems to be," which I shared during my eulogy. I then paused and expressed amazement at Kuya Lito's use of the word "Effulgent" for the letter "E" in "BELLA." This choice of words illustrates his romantic inclination, as he meticulously searched the Webster Dictionary for sophisticated terms like "effulgent" when drafting his poem for Ate Bella.
Later that evening, as we were preparing to leave the mortuary, our relatives hurriedly approached me with new information. AJ, Kuya Lito's granddaughter, had a copy of the poem on her phone. I promptly requested that she send me a copy.
To my surprise and upon reflection, I realized I had made an error in my eulogy. Kuya Lito's word for E was "Elegant," not "Effulgent." As memories flooded my mind, I found it difficult to sleep that night. My high school days resurfaced during my light slumber.
Remarkably, I recalled that "Effulgent" for the letter E originated from a love poem I had written for Nette, a high school classmate named Neonita Pelaez. In her, I saw similarities to my sister Bella's perspective on life. She came from a humble and struggling family in a remote village of San Fernando.
In high school, like Kuya Lito I was among the top three in our class. Somehow, I got his love poem to Ate Bella. Inspired by finding my Ate in Nette, I copied and modified his style and lines.
N stands for “Novel as a nymph you seem to be,” while E signifies Effulgent. Unfortunately, I cannot recall the exact line and stanza of my own version. In his love poem, Kuya Lito utilized the third person, whereas I employed the first person in mine. Unlike his enduring relationship with Ate Bella, who maintained their pledge of love, remained married for 52 years, and had two daughters, my connection with Nette did not extend beyond high school. After graduation, we were separated; I pursued further studies in Manila, and she remained in the province. Sadly, I do not possess a copy of the poem I composed for her, neither in my archives nor in my memory.
When I delivered my eulogy, Kuya Lito’s love poem for Ate Bella truly came to life. His granddaughter now possesses a copy of it. My initial mistake with the word "effulgent" turned out to be fortuitous. This term not only illuminates the page , but also conveys a radiant beauty or glowing aura. It beautifully encapsulates Kuya Lito's essence, his enduring legacy, and the profound love story he shared with Ate Bella.
That evening, following the funeral mass, Ate Bella shared with me three eulogies she had written but did not present during the memorial services.
“Losing a spouse is akin to losing a partner. Lito was my best friend, my other half, my travel companion who always carried my heavy hand luggage. He was my classmate, business associate, confidant, roommate, beloved, and most importantly, my everything. Over 52 years, we built a life filled with laughter, adventures, and challenges with only a few disagreements. Our love grew stronger over time. He taught me the true meaning of partnership and unconditional love. Through our involvement in the Marriage Encounter Organization, we embraced the principles of 100% Acceptance of Each Other and 200% Tolerance towards each other.”
The Figueroas celebrating a milestone anniversary.
This represents an enduring love narrative. The love poem mentioned in my eulogy, which AJ preserved on her phone, exemplifies a valuable element that can inspire storytelling and inhabit family narratives and the collective memory of current and future generations. Ultimately, a legacy is defined by the lasting impact one leaves behind, shaping the future and continuing to influence the lives of others long after one's time has passed.
We grew up in the ‘50s, ‘60s, and ‘70s when love songs were prevalent, and ballpoint pens were used for slum books and love notes
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B E L L A…
B – Beautiful as a rose she seems to be
giving delight to the most finical eyes,
an angel sent from heaven above is she,
a goddess from Mt. Olympus in disguise
E- Elegant and dignified in her grace,
yet simple and modest in her ways,
and her wavy raven tresses,
haunts me, even in my hour of rest.
L- Light as a breeze in spring in her gentle touch,
like the astray waves that break upon the rocks,
soft and mild, too, is her melodious voice,
like running water dripping from the waterfalls.
L- Lips are sweet and tender,
that wear always a smile, time and again,
her charm and kindness, a joy forever,
a balm to soul-inflicted with pain.
A - And to her I pledge this heart of mine,
the grandeur of a love sublime,
and the solemness of a vow that’s divine
to cherish and adore her, till endless time.
MC Canlas is the founding director of the San Francisco’s Parol Lantern Festival and a longtime consultant of Filipino American Development Foundation.
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